If I Were a Middle Class White Guy Writing about 'If I Were a Poor Black Kid'....

...I just wouldn't."

I am going to show the few of the people who read this blog how to avoid sounding like an idiot and talking about things you (well, not you) have never experienced, but merely speculated on.
An article on Forbes.com called "If I were a poor black kid," by a writer named Gene Marks--a self-described, middle class white guy who comes from a middle white background"--struck a nerve with me, and a big chunk of the internet. If you don't want to read it, I will summarize it:

 "Hey, I am not going to lie. I am not poor and my kids are well off. But listen, if I was not rich, I would just work really hard and make my way to the top. I would utilize the internet and its free technology and become an expert on Google Scholar and climb my way to the top. It's not easy, but I would do it!"

In all honesty, Gene Marks was probably not trying to being malicious or condescending. I mean, what person aims to be either of those. After all, most bad ideas are ideas that meant well.  The problem with ideas such as these is that their foundations are a bunch of misconceptions and epic generalizations.  I don't want to make fun of the guy because there are faaaaaaar worst generalizations that have been made to a group of people. Also, let's not pretend for a moment that this is something done only by a white, middle-class male. I have heard this done by plenty of people from various races, classes. More commonly, I have heard people from people from a poorer community who have "made it," tell those who have not "made it," that anything is possible, and you should "just work harder."

......Just sayin'

One of the easiest ideas to conjure is one that over-simplifies a complicated issue. For example, we have all had that person--usually a family member--that likes to blame you for the problem before they have heard the whole situation:

You: My car has been acting funny lately
Parent: Well, you should take better care of it!

Sure. The parent makes a valid point, but a valid point is not equivalent to a fair argument. Yes, taking better care of a car would, in fact, be beneficial. But what if your car is operating funkily because of someone else's tampering? Or a previous accident? Or the car just being shitty? BOOM! It is now your fault automatically!

When an erroneous presentation of a situation surfaces, such as "Poor people should work harder," their is a natural tendency to agree. One might think, "Sure, hard work is good for everyone," not realizing that it implies that poor people do not work hard. Usually, addressing an issue that involves a vast amount of people as if it was a single individual is the first step along the path of being a douche bag. Making very broad, vague statements can easily mislead someone into believing inaccurate information, or a "straw man argument."

A prime example is Marks understanding of poverty being solely the lack of money when it usually incorporates more factors: domestic violence, gang violence, Drugs etc. Marks only talks about not having technology and not trying hard enough. Sure is hard to try when you're focused on not dying and starving.  Of course, there are poor people that do not try, but is it okay to assume that is the same case for the majority?

How to avoid being mislead, or making the same mistake Gene Marks made is simple:


1. Avoid providing resolutions to issues that are foreign to you.

If you have no clue about the economics, please spare your friends/family 'resolutions' to the problem.

2. Be aware of Over-simplifications. Listen for absolute words like all, everyone, you people, always, etc.

Not all simplification use those words. In a lot of cases you have to just think critically and beware of hype.

Girls are emotional! (really? Only girls? Aren't humans emotional?)

Men are emotionless (ouch...that hurts my feelings.)

"Black people talk like this.." (Do they? Or does this comedian/rapper/actor talk like this?)

"Why do white people always..." (Wow, you must have had a lot of free-time to have met all the white people in the world)

3. As mentioned above, try not to approach an issue that relates to thousands, millions, billions as if it only applies to one person.

"Rich people work hard for what they have" (Depends on the parents. Lots of people inherit wealth).

Try to remember this the next time you have the chance to voice your opinion online, on the radio, television, internet or argument with your friends. Because having the best intentions is just not enough.


Are we done here? I think we're done here.

Villainy.

Oh The Things You'll miss.

This semester, I started to like football. To many people that know me personally it may come as a total surprise. I have never cared for sports. In fact, I hated sports. In my childhood it seemed to be goal of every young boy around me. I could not make myself interested in it so I ignored it. Then, eventually, after being stoned by questions and criticism for my lack of engagement into the world of sports, my apathy morphed into annoyance and then, at some point in middle school, a petty hatred.

Since I started working at the Global Learning Community, I've made plenty of foreign friends who have wanted to learn about American Football. Despite not giving a rat's dirty ass about football, I still learned the basics over the years. So, I took a few students to a game and explained it. Then I took fewer students to a game and explained. Then, just one student. Eventually, I was watching it on television with other residents. Shouting, cursing and threatening to kill the referee, his children and pets. I always knew that I was probably missing out on something fun. But I didn't care as a child. I figured there were lots of fun things that I would miss out on, and a lot of fun things that I would be included in..See, I was mature sometimes.

Trying new things is kind of hard for a lot of people. Especially myself. I don't know what it is about me and trying new experiences, but when I do try new things, I can feel my personality gaining depth. Even if it is something new I did not particularly enjoy, I at least walk away from it knowing that it sucked, vowing to never waste my time again. What is unfortunate is that there are people who make it a goal to avoid new experiences. Don't get me wrong, I really don't like watching new movies recommended by people who have disappointed me time and time again: "Dude, you HAVE to go watch Book of Eli! It is so inspirational!" I am still shuddering.  Instead I am saying that intentionally sticking to a routine of watching the same television shows, reading the same blogs, talking to the same people, playing the same video games, shopping at the same stores, dating the same kind of personality, using the same vocabulary, listening to the same music, watching the same movies, having the same hair cut, buying the same clothes and eating the same food can really limit life.

I remember the day I bought my first Spider-man comic in 2006. I remember walking into the bookstore at the mall and seeing the comic book rack. I spent it around and then I suddenly became hyper-aware of Spider-man. I used to love the show growing up. I remembered loving everything about the character. However, it just hit me that the series has been running for the past 40 years. I wondered why. How could a series last so long? 24 comics a year for 40 years is a long time. I thought, they should just end it. I wondered what all the rage is about. Now its 5 years later and I haven't missed an issue. Moreover, I want to write comic book stories. I want to spark a franchise that lasts 40 years. A moment of curiosity determined has affected my life for the past 5 years.

I'll give you another example. This past weekend, a friend and I wanted to have a Mobile Suit Gundam marathon. His girlfriend, a Japanese girl who ignored and occasionally mocked Gundam, joined us. about 3 hours later, she informed us that she never realized how deep the series was. She said "I thought it was for kids. I did not expect it to be so awesome." It was definitely dated like most shows from 1979, but it left a good impression on her. She even said she'd be down for watching it again.

It's not for everyone but...this shit Cray.

But what does that mean? Does it mean that she will have a life changing experience? Of course not. Gundam is VERY hit and miss. I guess, at the most, it could lead to a new hobby, and it could even be useful to a connecting with new friends. Knowing the slightest pop cultural references--especially a franchise with the magnitude of Gundam--could even win you a million dollars:

Just sayin'

Villainy.

NoSafeNovember: What it means. And a video to show

A long long time ago, when I was in high school (which was only about 5 years ago), I was part of an intense culture of friendly insults--a major contributor to who I am today. Everyday my friends and I would make jokes about each other--sometimes crude, other times embarrassing. Mostly, it kept us clever, quick-witted, humble and thick skinned. If you can laugh at yourself with ease then you are on the path to happiness. One of my favorite concepts introduced from this era of my life was the philosophy of safeness. It is a MUST to know the philosophy of safeness if you want to have a long term friendship with me. But at the same time, this philosophy might make you want to prevent having a long-term anything with me.

Safeness is the idea that someone is secure from any form of insults. Sadly, this idea represents a condition that is nonexistent. Safeness is similar to perfection. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, nobody is safe--which has become the motto surrounding the culture. Safeness can however be rated. Someone in a dance club who still thinks its cool to do the long-dead C-walk has a very low safety rating, which means it is your duty to stop this madness. In this case, I would say "The C-walk? Really? Dude is really not safe right now. I'm bout to let him know." Of course, depending on my relationship with that person, I would probably not inform him of his low safety. However, if a friend was to do it...It's time to let him/her know.

The #1 rule of being safe is that NOBODY IS SAFE. Not your mother, not your father, not your best friend.  Embarrassing your friends instead of your enemies seems a bit backwards, but the code of safeness is also a way of comically addressing issues with your friend. For example, if your friend smells like he or she has an uncontrollable fear of soap, and you have plans of going to the club that night with them still exuding offensive odor, then it might be time to say, "Fam, you are not safe. It smells like you showered in camel sweat. Correct ya self with a nice, warm shower." This sounds harsh, but if you don't let you friend/family know, someone else will. I guarantee your buddies would like to know how they should improve themselves and from you, a friendly voice.

The #2 rule of safeness is keeping it funny. What I mean is, remember your goal is to have fun. There are times when I myself get this one messed up. There have been so many times I get too crunk--another phrase used in our culture--and wind up offending my closest buds. Annoying your friends is okay when you can all laugh at it. Sometimes things may piss off a bud at first but it may be something they will find funny after a time of rage. But what you don't want to do is always try to piss them off. This varies from relationships-to-relationships. If my friend does not like mama jokes, I am incline to not make them. However, if my friend claims to not like the classic mama joke, but continues to make them about other people's mama, then they are on unsafe grounds. It is then my job as a friend to remind them of two things: They are not safe and I had a passionate night with their mother on the beaches of Normandy.  It's best to know who you are talking to, when you are talking to them and if you can handle the same amount of safe-criticism back. In other words, don't starting making mama jokes if you can't handle it back! With that said, it would be wise to stay off someone's dead loved one, tragic rape, etc... Unless you have an interesting bond with your friend.

Also, on the note of keeping it funny, keep in mind that you should actually be comical as well as careful. In other words, entertain. If you DARE make some kind of joke about your friends fashion of the day, and you fail at being clever, you are now TWICE as unsafe as your prey, which means its "open Season" on your sorry ass. Get 'em!

Now, No Safe November.

I am sure we all now what No Shave November is. If not, I will summarize. It is a game that people play in the month of November prevents all players from shaving until the end of November. By the end of November, dudes be lookin' like the members of Fleet Foxes....google 'em.

Since high school has ended, I have gotten soft. Unless I am in Knoxville, I don't often bring up safeness, or the lack therof, as much as I should. It is my duty to society to let people know that they are not safe. In NoSafeNovember (usually used as a hashtag: #NoSafeNovember.), we (me, you and the world) spend a month finally letting people know that they are not safe. All those irky things that you have been putting up with for the past ten months from co-workers, family members, best friends, and fellow students can now be cleverly mentioned in a way the lets you both laugh and learn.

However, keep in mind, the two rules of celebrating NoSafeNovember:

#1 Keep it funny
#2 and you are not safe either (can't stress that enough. Don't think that you are for a moment. ACCEPT IT.)

Remember: The safest thing you can do this November is admit that you are not safe. It invites comfort and fun. The moment you believe you a free of flaw and are just chillin' in safe-zone, you get GOT!

I KNOW I am not safe. Proofread this post, I bet I messed up plenty.

NoSafeNovember Victim #1

Pure Villainy.

Gay

Being gay just ain't what it used to be. I remember back in a time where being gay meant you were sexin' dudes. But one thing I have learned about life is that everything changes.

Don't get me wrong, I have kept up with the changes. I remember in 4th grade I wore a pink shirt to school and for that entire day I was called gay. So I thought, "note to self...pink means dude sexin.'"  However, that changed just a week later when I brought my holographic Charizard Pokemon card to school. The same group of boys came up to inform me of my homosexual ways: "Man, that's gay. You're gay." So I added on to my mental notes: "Okay. Charizard is gay too. Noted." A year later, I was discussing why Goku was gonna whoop Frieza's ass in the next episode of Dragonball Z with a friend. A familiar group of cliches people approached me reminding me that I was still gay. By that time it was too late. I stopped caring because I finally knew what gay meant. At least I thought I did. 

Then, middle school came and I was informed by a currently established homosexual that I was gay because I did not care about being gay and that I didn't play basketball. Thus, I readjusted my mental notes again: "Start playing with balls and then I am no longer gay." By 7th grade, I finally got it. Being gay was no longer something difficult to define and I learned that two things: Gay is when some is romantically interested in males and I am not part of that community. 

By college, of course it was all mapped out. Sexual categories are just not simple. Obviously if a man and another man are in a relationship (or woman and another woman, and in some cases, a man and a woman who have complicated situation), they are most likely gay/lesbian/bisexual. However, my mind was blown yet again. A person can potentially be a heterosexual woman but fall in love with another woman. Just one woman. She could not be attracted to only one woman her whole life. Does that make her gay? So, I noted once more: "Labels complicate simple things."

However, today, October 20,  2011, I am afraid I am back to square one, once again. Today, it was raining and it was the worst kind of rain: it was cold and horizontal. So, I snatched my umbrella. When I got to the cafeteria, I met with a friend. Once we finished, we walked outside into the rain, where, again, I used my umbrella. She looked at me and snickered, " You are the ONLY boy I know that has an umbrella!"

"really?" I said. 

"Yes, really."

"ah...you're point?"

"You know what they say about boys with umbrellas"

"..they don't like to get wet?"

"Nope," she blurted, "They're gay!!!"

I quit the human race.

Villainy. Non-biased, LGBT supportin' Villainy.

Remember when "I don't care" meant something?

I think the first time I said"I don't care" and really meant it was around 3rd grade. I never played kick ball and hated when students got mad that I didn't play. They cared too much about my disinterest in the game. I remember standing on top of that hill at Chillhowee Intermediate's playground after they had asked harassed me for the second time in a 30 minute period and announcing to the entire world "I really don't care about kickball."

It was empowering to denounce something that everyone tried so hard to convert me to. I just didn't want to play kick ball. I seriously didn't care about that game or the other games they wanted me to play. But wasn't I apathetic before I proclaimed? What encouraged me to holler my lack of interest in kickball? In fact, kickball was not the thing I cared least about. The things I cared the absolute least about were things that I don't even bother to think about. A prime example is the Rugrats. When I was in third grade I really did not care about that show at all. I would not even think about that show unless it was on, and I watched it only to pass the boredom. It wasn't until recently I thought back and realized that show really sucked. I describe it as a " bunch of ugly babies and an overly villainized girl who received no attention from her frequent-cellphone-wielding parents."

I mean really...look at this shit.

But I digress.

I cared even less about politics, so much so that when Bill Clinton got that infamous BJ, I just disregarded. I knew it had something to do with sex due to naughty 4th graders that learned from their parents' xxx rated movies. But I was still not interested. Didn't give two fucks about it--no pun intended. Thus, I must have said "I don't care about kickball" because I wanted them to leave me alone.

Eventually, like many others, I abused my "I don't care" powers.  I found myself using it for things I did care about--things that cause too much of an internal conflict. For an example, I wanted to be a reader so badly but I just could not make myself do it. When everyone read Harry Potter, I avoided it saying "I don't care about Harry Potter." But I did care. I cared sooo much. But because I knew I wouldn't read the book, I just told myself and the world I didn't care. A big regret. Should've read more as a child. I see that same thing today with other people only it has gotten worse. I first noticed it in high school. I was sitting in class when all of the sudden a teacher told a student "if she wanted to sleep she could go home or sleep outside." She wasn't having it. She argued, " But some of us got jobs!"(This argument always struck a nerve with me because it was so weak. I understand that there are some shitty situations were people have to work for their families and poor living conditions but most people at the school were not in those terrible conditions. They chose to work.) The teacher responded "well, I am sorry but you should learn to prioritize. There is no point to coming to class if you can't stay awake for it." She shouted, " Man, I don't give a fuck!" and promptly left the classroom. Okay, clearly she gave a fuck because she resisted him and tried to stay. This happened several times throughout high school. I heard that phrase before fights, classroom walkouts, break ups etc.

Now, "Idon'tcare/don'tgiveafuck" means " I care soooo damn much and I am upset about it. Waah." I think it agitates me the most when people say they don't care about something and THEN argue about it. I remember sitting in on a conversation between two people. One was black and one was white. The black person loudly stated that "Jesus was black!" while the white person said "dude, why do you even care? I don't care about his race. Why do you need to make him black? Just leave him white." Well, I agree to an extent. I disagree about only having a white Jesus because of the racial dominance it influences by making the son of God, someone who represents all perfection a skinny, white male (considering its role in history as tool of conquest and it's influence of America's idea that white is the standard. In my opinion, he shouldn't be animated at all or make him in all colors). My problem with this scenario is not the politics around it, but the mask of "I don't care." The guy said he didn't care but then said "Just leave him white?" So basically...you do care?

Sir, I am going to have to pick a side: to care or to not care

 I have caught myself doing it too. I remember my freshman year, someone engaged me in an argument that I was not in the mood to back down from. It might have been abortion, or something cliche like that. But halfway through it, I said, " I don't care" and then continued to engage the person in the argument. Then saying "I don't care" when I realized I was wrong. Its like jumping into a fight between two people, trying to make peace, and then bitch slapping them both and fleeing from the altercation. You can't wave a sign of peace and then continue engaging someone in war...unless you're a jerk.

What really gets my boxers all tied up is when someone says "I don't care" about something they don't know about or something important. I am not saying every serious thing that is going on in the world should have you undivided. After all, importance is not objective and people that feel that way aren't my favorite people either (,and I really don't like when I am being one of those people). In most cases, like my early beliefs of Rugrats, I don't really think about or mention things I genuinely don't care about. So proclaiming your lack of care all the time makes it look like you want people to care about your apathy, which might mean that you care too much.



 Villainy.

....bible lady....

Ideas/Ideologies/Beliefs are so wonderful. They give purpose to our lives, provide direction and at the same time cause us to do stupid, horrible and awkward things as well. For example, once while I was in Japan I was extremely nervous about a Japanese Speaking test. So, I thought that it would be a ingenious if I had some Japanese plum wine to calm my nerves... Why would anyone ever do that?

I only know like a handful of people that perform better when they have had a little bit to drink:

Jackie Chan in Drunken Master

Rock Lee from Naruto

And apparently myself because I got an A on that shit:

Celebration dance...been doin it for years.

In other cases, the passionate positions we hold on certain things can birth awkward situations. And furthermore make us oblivious to the awkwardness until that self-reflective moment in the night when you recap on your day and think " Oh shit. I really sounded antisemitic when I said that."

Especially if the ideology is something that is the foundation of your identity. For me, I am sensitive about race sometimes. Not hypersensitive, but sensitive. People get those things mixed up sometimes. In the worst case, someone will say something racially awkward and I will just roll my eyes and bitch about it to friends later. For other people religion, sexuality, gender or sports may be sensitive topics. You will rarely hear my call someone racist or see me react in an angry, violent way to it.

Now that I hyped you up about why I am talking about this, I am going to disappoint you. Nothing ridiculous happened. But something kind of awkward happened the other day.

A friend and I were doing a late night run to Taco Bell (which later changed to a trip to Burger King due to a long line and a moment of indecisiveness) when I noticed I was running low on gas. What the topic of discussion was escapes me now, but I remember having a semi-deep conversation. Regardless the astuteness of the conversation, it was interrupted. Not that it was that important, but it all happened kind of awkwardly. I was at the pump, talking to my friend over the roof of the car when a middle-aged woman nervously approached us and handed both me and my friend a brochure that was designed to help us keep up with our bible readings. You know, the ones that are nonexistent. The ones I never do ever.  I smiled and politely said "oh thanks" fakely enthusiastic. She quickly walked away after a nice "you're welcome."

If you are reading this and are religious, you are probably like " so, what's the problem?" Or maybe you're not, but if you are, don't be so hostile. There is no problem here. None whatsoever. In fact, I think it was sweet. It was a nice gesture. She cared about something and offered to help with it. Its not like she tried to convert me, she just assumed that I already was. Why? Who knows.

But the thing is: its just a bit awkward. To a lot of people, especially people of the bible belt, it is normal to be Christian. So, it is very very easy to assume everyone is Christian--especially if you are black. I mean, very rarely do you find a black person that is nonreligious. So I completely understand the lady telling me " take this. It will help you keep up with your scripture reading. 

The most interesting part of the whole thing is what if I actually told her that I am part of that smaller percentage that would be classified under something else. I did not say that of course because that would just invite more awkwardness and, again, I thought it was nice. But still, it would not be rude or over-the-top if I actually informed her of my own beliefs. After all, she kind of just did it...kinda. If someone were to be offended that she assumed that they were Christian, or Mormon or anything, then I guess it would be fair to be so. I wouldn't be. But it would be fair.

Another thing that I think is interesting is that people do not approach you unless they have something religious to tell you or something to sell you. Yes, I just rhymed. But I am serious. I would have been even more touched if she just walked up to me and said, "Hey fellas! I just wanted to say that I hope you two have a wonderful evening. And just be safe. That's all." 

Yeah, you roll your eyes and laugh but I would have been happy. I love that kind of thing. Why would her saying that instead seem weird or creepy, but giving me a scripture schedule normal? Maybe not "hey fellas" but what if she just came up and said something sweet. Or do only people with bibles and Qur'ans do that?  

If you want to express yourself just log-in and leave a post at the bottom. Trolls included.

Just a thought. 

Villainy.

And then all the Trolls in the universe appeared...

A few days ago I was having a really good day. The way I determine whether a day is good or bad is by the way I feel by the end of the day before I go to sleep and also how the way I feel the next morning. If I got to sleep regretting being alive, then it was a bad day. Sometimes, when I wake up the following morning feeling amazing, I can look back at the day before and realize that it was actually not that bad of a day.

In hindsight, I think the day initially mentioned was a good day. However, during that day, I felt like it was a buncha bullshit. The funny thing is, I only remember one bad thing that happened that made it so bad. And that is what this post is gonna be about.

Continuing....

A few days ago, I was having a good/bad day. I was minding my own business just like how everyone does when they are in a story they are not aware of. Because if they knew they were aware of the story it would be breaking the 4th Wall. Looking at the cameras and shit, addressing the audience, arguing with the narrator etc. Who needs that? So, I just continued minding my own business. Suddenly, as most occurrences come into existence, some friends of mine suggested we get some posters and make signs to support our friends' soccer game in the upcoming hours. I offered to drive to the store on campus--which was dumb because parking sucked and it would be cheaper at Walmart, which is what we would end up doing anyways. When we arrived to the campus book store to buy supplies, there were absolutely NO parking spaces left. The only ones were handicap parking spots. People were so desperate for the terrible food at McCalie's they obnoxiously illegally parked along the side the street making it difficult to pull out a car from the handicap parking spots.

As I pulled in to the handicap spots, I decided, " This is dumb. Why'd you guys let me come here? Time to go to Walmart!" Everyone cheered as I pulled out of the parking spot, and hit someone's car.

You read that last sentence correctly. I hit someone's car. And then all the trolls in the universe appeared..

When I opened my car door I heard every stereotypical voice you would hear during a moment that could be exciting:

"Like, Oh my God. He just hit that car"
"Awww Snap Ya'll! Shits about to go down"
"Holy shit bro. Did you see that?!"

The Trolls! They arrived! And they came from all corners of the universe. Gathering around that accident.

I nervously got out of the car and walked up to victim of my carelessness. Afterall, how could I so carelessly hit an illegally parked car that was bascially screaming "OH, PLEASE! QUICKLY! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HIT ME!"

However, I had no attitude. No anger. Just concern. No one was hurt and there was ZERO damage.
Although I had no attitude, it didn't mean that other people were gonna play by the same rules. I still heard the trolls making things worse (and funnier...I laughed..a bit later). I still heard " Aw snaps, ya'll," which is so funny as background noise. I figured they'd get bored. But one of the trolls stepped forward and said " Hey man, nothing happened really. The dent was there and then it just popped out."

Glory! But, it wasn't over yet. One more approached me stating " Oh yeah! This is my sister's car. Hold on, she'll be right out!" She said it in that way. You know? That " Naw naw naw, bitch! Don't you dare think about running away!" kinda way. But I ignored the sass and waited for her sister who wasn't much different. When she came out, I was annoyed for two reasons: She was kinda cute and she didn't hear me tell her she was on the wrong side of the car. I stood awkwardly in the background.
Eventually she asked, " who did this?" and like a little kid who broke the family vase, I stood with my hand raised.

Her response: She turned to the trolls surrounding the vehicle and asked " Oh, he wasn't gonna speak up then huh?"

the before mentioned troll stepped forward explaining the situation again, this time to queen troll:

"...and then it just popped back out"

I got bored and walked up to her, apologizing for hitting her tactlessly, illegally parked car, which, if my car was damaged by, she would have to pay since she was the one in the wrong. She looked at me for a second, changed her tone and said " nah, its okay. There's no damage."

That was it. I drove the fuck outta there.

Kill em with kindness

and then villainy.

You're gonna carry that weight :3 Steps to letting things go

I have a long, infinite list of flaws. It's no secret. I suck at a lot of things, but one thing I rock at is knowing that I suck at a lot of things. This is NOT me being humble; this is me being honest. One of my worst flaws is letting things go. Its just a hard thing to do. There are even times when I am so frustrated about something that I can't sleep well. For instance, it is ridiculously late/early right now, but because at this very moment I cannot let something go. So,  I figured that bloggin' it out would at least help me burn off energy about the situation. 

My problem with letting things go is that I never seem to do it right. What I mean is, when I feel that I have been wronged, its hard for me to just say "well, I just got got. Oh well." Often times I find myself looking back at issues that seemed Hulk sized and realize they are only Janet Dyne size (look it up). I see the same problem with others. Saying "I'm gonna let this shit fly" doesn't give that shit wings. You actually have to let it go.

But how do you do that? I have a few steps that many of you will find pretty obvious and unhelpful, but those who have the same problem may find useful.

Step 1: Allowing and accepting rage--within reason.

Be Mad! It's okay.

Contrary to the picture above, do not get that mad to the point you want to choke professor X. But you need to find a positive way to let out your anger/sadness. Do not deny the fact that you are upset. Anger is an emotion. You cannot really force yourself to not feel anger, but you can control your anger. So many times I find myself saying that I am letting something go and then it doesn't happen. I am too eager to let something go instead of allowing myself to be angry, and then get over it. Also, do not let your friends tell you to "get over it" and force you to not care. In all honesty, your friends, no matter how terrific they may be, don't always care, or understand where you are coming from on an issue. And in some cases, friends tend to trivialize things they think are not important. So if you are annoyed that your roommate left his food out for an entire day, just tell them. Don't just sit there mad, but let that shit out. Usually, people are not immediately angry. It usually starts because someone has to let it grow over time. So neutralize it before it gets to that level. If you don't rage properly, you will bitch about it for weeks and possibly deform a friendship. Meaning, now it is a habit of you to bitch about that friend. Then, you're Mr/Mrs. Negative. If you get this step right, you are more than half way done.

Step 2: Distance yourself from the situation

Maybe that's what took him so long

This one is tricky. It's a very situation step. And it also depends on the personality. Those that are better at letting things go, don't need distance. They simply have amazing shoulder blades, shrug their cares away and move one. Some people that claim they are fine with letting things go, but aren't: Pay attention. After a feud, distance yourself from someone you just confronted, just for a little while, and very nonchalantly, even if it means to step out and have a smoke. Like a stove, people rarely go from boiling hot to room temp in the matter of seconds. So maybe you should, or they should (depending on the agitator) should just have a nice tall glass of shutthefuckupforalittlewhile. It's a great drink. I usually find myself ordering it daily. I should stress that sometimes you need to do this very nonchalantly. Sometimes leaving promptly and obviously after a feud forces some personalities to immediately try to fix it. They might follow you to your car to further explain what they meant. Or maybe get super defensive and call everyone up to let them know that they made you angry and so they Paul Revere that shit to let the world know that you are coming. Try to distance yourself gracefully and tastefully.  The whole point of this step is to make things move smoothly for the next step. When someone has just told you that they sold your Xbox 360 for rent money, you probably should take a walk. Sitting in awkward air is bad for the lungs. 

Last step: Don't bring it back up. You're done.

YOU AGAIN?!

The important thing about distance is that you need time to get over it. When you return, you need to be over it. And if you are not, don't come back. I am so serious about this step. If you are not over this situation--and you might have damn good reason to depending on whatever happened--then you should prolong your walk down Snake Way (the second picture). And, in some rare cases, you might need to just find some new friends. But what you do NOT do is continually bring it back up. In some circles, it's totally fine digging up old bones that were once so serious as a joke. But only do that if you are beyond 100% sure it's okay. I have heard friends joke about how they messed with another friend's girlfriend and the fight they both had afterwards. It was a pretty awkward laugh. In fact, if I remember correctly, it wasn't really a laugh. It was more of a "heh ah, yeah so anyways."  Sometimes things will always be too soon. Bring bad memories back up as a way of domineering over your friends is a good way to lose them. I have witnessed that first hand. We all have. If you ever find yourself being the tyrant, dangling the past over your bestie's head, or be you the victim under once friendly but now oppressive hand then ask yourself this. Is this friendship really worth further investment? or ask yourself this, specifically if you can't let something go: how big is this bruise gonna be when I grow up, have a family and I want my friend to come see them but I can't because of some ol bullshit that happened 6 billion years ago?

Remember that last episode of Cowboy Bebop, when the main character died because he refused to let the past go?  After the long credit reel at the bottom of the screen, in some small strange font there was a message:

Alright, that did it. I'm good now. Goodnite.

Oh, and Villainy. 

Late reaction: Blatino Spidey

RalA few months and a couple rage forums later, I thought I would just throw my opinion out there into the masses of opinions out there. But first let me fill people in on something they probably already know: the Ultimate Marvel Comic's story line--the story line that is separate from the original Marvel story line-- has killed off Peter Parker and has replaced him with blacker, hispanicer Miles Morales.

This guy.

Of course this would cause a stir. But the stir it would cause was not just one big stir, but a large combination of tiny stirs, making a bigger confusing stir. I have heard/read various arguments for and against this change. Let's start with the smaller ones and slowly inch our way into the racial ones.

1. Peter Parker is Spider-man. Period.

I agree, Peter Parker is Spider-man. I don't want there to be a case when Peter is not Spider-man somewhere, shape or form. But lets keep in mind, this change is only the Ultimate story line. This story line was created ten years ago for cases just like this. In this universe, super heroes and villains are gay, straight, evil, good, black, Latino etc. So its not like you can't retreat to the Orignal story line where Peter Parker is still alive and kicking. Do it. That's what I read. It's wonderful. Peter Parker> Miles Morales. I'm sorry. I just love Peter. 

2. This is not the first time Spider-man has been non-white. Why the hype now?

This is so true. In the Spider-man 2099, Peter Parker is so dead. Like sooo dead....because it is the year 2099. A time where a man named Miguel O hara, a hispanic civilian of NY is the new spider-man. There was not much hype behind that then this. So, why? My theory: People perceive Parker's murder as the means for ushering in a Hispanic/ Black character. When that is not the case. The writer of Ultimate Comics has stated that the decision to make this character Hispanic/Black was not something he just wanted to do. He said that he simply made character based off what he sees daily. He felt that he doesn't only see white people when he gets on the subways in the inner city where Parker lives. It just kind of "happened." The decision to kill Pete was decided long before they had an idea for a replacement. The decision to make him a new character was also in the storyboard too. The decision to make him a non-white character was just something they did in the midst of it all. 

3. Why are people getting so excited that he is Blatino? So what? Race doesn't matter.

Okay, this one seems peaceful right? But its the kind of thing that irks my nerves the most. It depends on the way the question is being asked. If someone is saying "hey, I am fine with the change. It doesn't bother me much" then you honestly don't care about the racial aspect. Fantastic! What I don't like is "Dude, why are you so happy that he is Blatino? Its just another color. He's not really Black ( or he's not really Latino--depending on who you are). " 

When you you go out of your way to snatch something like that away from a group of people, it makes it seem like you have issues with race. Its like when 2008's election results were in and people were intent on saying "So, he's not really black! Calm down!!" Why does it bother people so much to see some group of people celebrate finally seeing someone that they looked up to finally represent them?

What people need to realize is that race clearly matters. Not all the time, but in certain situations. When your most iconic superheroes or heroes in general are so wise and full of wisdom, but rarely look like you, then it is easy for a child to feel like they lack the criteria to be as heroic. Its true and it was with me as well.

(sidenote: Bullshit! If Barack Obama mugged your ass in the night, you would describe his ass as a tall African American-ass male with a big black gun and big black lips. Just saying.)

I am skeptical though. Publicity stunt or not, Brian Bendis is a fantastic writer. He has rarely made a decision that made Spider-man a dull character. I doubt he is gonna start now. Who knows, in the next ten years, we might be seeing a love for this character more than Peter.

Nah, Peter all day long. Good luck Morales.

Villainy.

As I sat in the library...

Man, it feels good to be back on campus.  Just being on campus makes me feel like I am being productive compared to just sitting around elsewhere. But what I truly missed is not just receiving high grades, increasing my writing ability, meeting new people but seeing all the strange-than-fiction things I see when I am on campus.

From 2007 to now, I can honestly say "nothing surprises me anymore." Since I have been here I have heard absurd conversations, outbursts, seen slightly silly things and completely over the top things. For example when Obama won the election in 2008, this campus went crazy---on both sides. One side had a woman stabbing an Obama-carved pumpkin with a knife, and dangled it off her dorm balcony. The other side had a dude shouting "OBAMA MOTHA FUCKAZ" as people walked by. On other occasions, I have had smaller WTF moments like being evangelized to by a Buddhist monk and then snubbed when I refuse to give him any kind of money.

Out of all of the crazy events that have happened on campus, I appreciate the smaller ones the best. Like Today, I was in the library reading The Catcher in the Rye, a book that should have been read a lot earlier on, but since I am in an Adolescent literature class, I am reading it now-- there will probably more books I will read this semester on the "damnkidyoushouldareadthatyearsago" list. But I digress. As I sat in the library, I saw this student walking in with some stylish head phones on his head. You know those people that really feel the music they listen too, so much so that their facial expressions and their walking pace changes? Well, that was this guy ( I am totally that guy too). What separates this guy from the other people that really feel their music is that he assumes we should ALL feel his music. So in the quietest moment of the library, he walks right past me and shouts the most intense part of the song: "And I would pull a strap for my niggaz!!!"

I smirked. Not phased. Not surprised.

Villainy. And I mean it.

RIP Uncle James: Do what you can, when you can

I knew sometime in the near future I was going to be writing this post. Unfortunately, I was not expecting it to be this soon. Sometime yesterday I lost a very colorful personality to heart failure. I received the call during a party--which is by the way the absolute worst place to hear something like that. After the call ended, knowing my uncle was dead, seeing the world dance their wonderful asses off to "Party Rock," I simply wasn't buying it. My would not only not accept the bad news of my unlce's death, but it also wouldn't accept the party, the music or the people. For like a whole minute I stood in the hall like "wait, what?" Even after the call, I still heard those awful noises in my ears. "He's dead man." It was like it was 2005 all over again when I lost my father, only this time it was happening to my closest friend and cousin. The 2nd worst feeling in the world is being far away from someone that you think could use your help. and it had happened twice this year now. The 1st is losing someone/something you are close to.
After about a minute, which seemed like a long time--imagine standing in an empty hallway for a complete minute trying to think of what to do next-- I decided to inform my boss about it because I knew that I would be heading back to Knoxville soon for a funeral.  I went to my room for two reasons: There was a party, and Pro Fun Luggage Tim is not gonna be a party shitter and I did not know if I could really party knowing that so many of my family is hurting. Before I got on the phone for the remainder of the evening thinking of pretty much everything every person that has ever lost someone close to them. The same cliches you say every funeral that you never believe you will think of again, but someone dies again, and here you are talking about the last things he/she said to you, what could have been done better etc. It wasn't until last night when I called my cousin back, and got no response, that I realized these ideas are fine. There is no real advice you can give to the mentally matured person that has lost someone that he or she does not already know. So it was okay that I was speechless when he called. Sometimes, you just need to listen. Listen until you find the words that will comfort that person. It might be anything from "I am here" to "I am on my way."

Later, I found myself reverting into my childhood way of thinking: "When is it going to be my brother? My mother? My grandmother? My step dad? Or best friends? When am I gonna start visiting my bestfriends' funerals? Their children's funerals? Their parents funerals? When am I going to be all alone?

The craziest part is that is not the worst question. The worst question is "When will I get used to this?" and the worst part about that worst question is "Yes, you will get used to it." Within that answer lies an even harder truth: You will survive. You will always be okay. You will accept this reality and push through it.

Why is that so bad? Because sometimes I just don't want to get used to losing people. I don't like funerals. I don't even like saying good bye. Sometimes I avoid starting conversations with people just because I don't want to say good bye. Pathetic, right? But here is the question I asked myself that brought me back to an adulthood way of thinking: So you are just going to start avoiding people just because one day you are going to have to say good bye? No.

Never will I ever regret staying at my Uncle James'  house almost everyday for the past summer, just because he would die at the end of it. Would I be the same person had I not been stopped by him just to be told, "Tim, I am proud of you for going to Japan. You could have went over to Japan, taken a dump, and flown right back the next day, and I still would have been proud of you. And your dad would have been proud too!" That touched me. His son, two daughters, ex-wife and new nephew (born this past summer as well are VERY lucky people to have had someone like that in their lives. Especially seeing how its hard as balls to keep a father in a house nowadays.

It doesn't stop there. One day, you may lose everything. But that only implies that you had something important to begin with. This means that when you say " I lost everything" (which your probably didin't), it actually means that I lost something important and I have more to lose. I say that to say treasure everything you have now, as much as you can, as hard as you can, until you can't. Appreciate it while its here and when its gone. And don't ever ever ever believe that life only goes down from here, because sometimes (usually) it goes up. After all, my Uncle James is no longer with us, but at least he lived to see something so wonderful come into existence:

Baby Villainy.

RA Training Filler Arc: Social Chameleons

The most difficult thing for me being an RA is being so silly and optimistic. Ironically, its also my most favorite part of the Job. The energy that my co-workers generate is real, ridiculous, and intimidating. However, call me cynical, but I love the feeling of being overwhelmed. It becomes a challenge. I go through the following phases: " Oh shit, I can't do this" to "Oh shit, this is gonna be hard but I will try" and finally "I am gonna nail this and so much more!"
The intimidation comes from the mass of big personalities in this job. Plenty of people right now are probably like "Dude, what the hell are you talking about?! You have that!" but, I guarantee there a bunch of people that are reading this like " Yo, Dude, what's with that? You need more of that."
This leads into my main point for this entry (to all 2 of you people that read this thing): we all socially adjust to our surroundings depending on what is need in a specific situation. This is a big generalization because I said "we all" when really I mean, "some people I have noticed at certain times...sometimes." In other words, challenge my flawed thesis, and then leave a comment after you have done that.

Since you were a child, you might have noticed how impressionable you were. Mannerisms, speech rhythm and facial expressions all being unintentionally copied from parents, neighbors, friends etc. I think the same thing is true for personalities for some people. I find myself really shy around extremely confident people. Then, when I am around a group of shyer people , its easier for me to be that person that is the most outgoing. This also explains why you probably have that friend you always look up to for being so courageous, but when you bring it up to that friend, you are halted with a " no way! Me? Courageous? Thanks for the compliment, but there is just no way!"

The trick is learning when to become more like a Chameleon. A Chameleon can match its environment. So when it is in an environment that requires more brown, it becomes more brown. So, the goal is to use what is learned from a strong friend, in a situation that requires strength, without the necessity of "weak people"--for a lack of better words. Like an off/on switch to your potential.

Just the other day, I was talking to my friend about how admirable she was for being so good at making big decisions as I watched her take charge of a group indecisive people. She replied with a pshhh sound of disbelief. She told me, " I am never good at making decisions. They just suck at it."

I believe her.


Villainy.

Wake me up when September ends...

Tomorrow, I am moving back into my dorms as an RA. I was really not all that excited until recently. Very recently. Like an hour ago. Not that I was not looking forward to being RA again or anything, but more because I spent the past few days having loads of fun with the family. After watching a couple Louis CK stand ups and a 12 episode Gundam anime, it finally hit me that I am gonna be meeting new people and some pretty cool old ones at my home campus. Why? because its RA training. Before studying abroad, I was an RA for about a year. So it feels new now. And like any new job, I am having a very small case of new job anxiety. Again, a small case.
I don't know if anyone else is like this but I always feel like I am going to mess something up, or that I am doing something wrong. Its the same kind of feeling old people get when a they are on the computer and a small window opens up and says "Would you like to blah blah blah" and old people think by pressing the "yes" button they are also selecting the "break this computer" button. Its also like the feeling you get when you meet some hot girl or boy, depending on the preference of the reader, and you think at any moment you are going to let out this earth shattering fart.....No one? Only me? Okay, I digress.
The point being, I feel like I am gonna drive all the way to the middle of the state and find out that my campus decided to move the training date to last week or maybe it was last week and the email never made it to my inbox. Or maybe I did and never read it. I am pretty sure neither of this scenarios are the case and my school, along with all of experiences with the school have never existed and I have spent the last 4 and half years going to a big open field and sleeping in a tent, fabricating the entire higher education experience.

...Right! The purpose of this blog post!

Well, all that aside, I finally get to start this school year off with a very positive view, despite all the babble above. BECAUSE I BOUGHT TICKETS FOR THE JAY-Z and KANYE WEST "WATCH THE THRONE Tour!" The only bad part is that it is on October 30th.  All I have to do now is tolerate one whole month of haters: Drake, Lil Wayne, Illumanati conspiracy theorist(look it up) etc. Also, I got a whole lot of school just a waitin' to get in my way of Watching the Throne.
However, just like Edward and Alphonse preach, I too know the laws of equivalent exchange. That being said, I don't have much money to start this year off. Now, many people are probably thinking, "Dude, baaad decision."
But I have a answer for that kind of logic. An answer most 15 years olds say when they are beaten to death by truth, Obama wants to say when he is attacked by republicans, Bush when he was attacked by democrats, and Eminem when he was attacked by the press:




Yep, Ijdgaf

Villainy. Apathetic Villainy. Stay posted and Watch The Throne.

Captain Save 'em: Being too much of a friend.

In high school, there was a term used among my friends: Captain Save 'em. The term best describes someone being too much of a friend. At one point, or several points, I, you, and all the people you know, have been or will be, Captain Save 'Em. I try so hard to not fall into this category, but it usually happens when you are not trying.

 The term best describes someone who swoops in from above to save a friend from some kind of situation simply because they are friends. For instance, if someone wants to introduce their boyfriend/girlfriend to their friends, but after doing so, the friends notice that the boyfriend/girlfriend is rude. The Captain will say something like "Yeah, but you just don't understand how hard her /his life is" or "Oh nah man! they were just kidding! That's just their sense of swag! haha." That's your cue, "Captaaaaaaaaaaain Save 'em."

Oh believe me, it sucks. But it feels so good when you call someone else out being a captain. Or when you stop yourself from being a captain. But one thing you should never do is become angry that you are a captain. The truth is, it shows a good quality about yourself: you care about your friends. But, I urge anyone and everyone to be a captain sometimes. Being a captain is the equivalent being a "My child can do no wrong" parent. Plus, if done often, it villainizes those the captain are protecting the poor soul against.

We have seen this happen in mainstream media all the time. For instance, when Kramer released his mouth and unleashed the infamous racist rant (although for some reason people only recalled him saying the "nigger" once). The next day, every person that had met Kramer (or having a severe case of race guilt) tied on their cape and flew in to the rescue the poor guy. Granted, he was in a need of some kind of rescue. However, the big problem was that there wasn't any real saving. There was only Captain saving.  "Kramer's not racist! He is my friend! I have known him for years!" Nice argument. This person did not do anything wrong at all because he is someone's friend.

Unfortunately, I think sometimes its too easy to forget what it actually means to be a friend. When you are someone's friend, you should "keep it real" with them all the time. Why? Because they deserve truth. We want our friends to grow. And standing by them when they do something wrong does the complete opposite. Instead, we should just stand by them when the whole world tells them they are wrong (assuming they actually are) and silently agree.

Being Captain Save 'em is like being Stan...and no one likes a Stan.


Villainy.

Hometown Syndrome: "Man, I can't wait to get out of Xtown/ville"

Sometimes, its just time to go.

The biggest cliche in the post-high school world is believing that all your problems stem from your hometown and leaving will ultimately remedy the problem. Well, that and becoming pregnant immediately after grabbing your diploma and walking off the stage. I was part of this same cliche when I was a Senior in high school and freshmen in college. Whenever you came back from school, and had been home for  more than a week, Hometown Syndrome kicks in. Then boom!: My hometown had become the reason for my lack of money, influx of car problems and my perpetual state of boredom. I mean the famous Fun Luggage analogy I use so much on this blog is the perfect solution to the problem: just make things fun. But it is so much easier to blame the city.

I remember the first drive outta Knoxville to MTSU feeling like  a lot of my old problems were gone. Why? Because I associated that with Knoxville. If you think about it, using a city as a scapegoat makes a lot of sense. When you claim your problems are the city itself, then you can always just leave. Creating an illusion that all of your issues have been left behind you. Now, I don't think Knoxville sucks, but for damn sure don't want to live here.

Here's were the entry starts to get confusing. My problem for not wanting to live in my hometown is just that, my problem. I don't think I am any better than those who are living there/here. I am one of those people who are lightly affected by their environment. If I am around a group of friends that I always said the expression "Nah dawg" with in the past, then I am more likely to do it. Mind you, if everyone is doing meth, I am not going to do it so don't even start making up those little metaphors about people jumping off cliffs and me promptly following. Instead, I am more prone to doing things and feeling ways about things if I am in an area in which I always do those things or feel those ways.
Personally, when I come home I feel less productive than I do at school and it makes me feel uncomfortable. When I go back to school, I feel like I am hitting my potential often.

A better example of this kind of thing is one that I am going to steal from a friend. I have a friend who goes home to a very nice area, inhabited with people best described as "silly." Not everyone from that area is silly, but their social circle is a little "silly." When my friend returns home to visit their loved ones, their silly traits, that were once cute, are somewhat offensive and annoying. This kind of thing makes that friend not want to come home so often. Lucky for me, that is not so much the case.

If you could tolerate my love of italics and vagueness and are still following, I appreciate it.

Therefore, for me, it was great coming back to the states and my hometown etc. But it is more of a reminder of how badly I want to not be here. I guess I want to broaden my sense of "home". I want everywhere to feel like home instead of just one place. I have, and always will have, mad love for my home town. But I think it will feel great to finally hit the road again.



Knoxvillainy.

Why today sucked and rocked (videos)

Recently, a friend of mine, Mark, has been doing Theater at his college. He has fallen madly in love with it. About two days ago, Mark, Jaymes and myself started watching a show called "Dog Bites Man." A good portion of the show is improvisation. Mark realizes that we could totally do that and demanded I carry my camera on me at all times, which I do anyways, so there is no big change. 

Fast forward to today. I had planned to wake up early and study Japanese. But I didn't I woke up late, to my uncle James telling me that my cousin Jay has stepped on a nail and is bleeding. The Tone was set for the rest of the day. 

After cleaning the wound, he was fine. I opened my Genki II Textbook and began to study...until my phone rang. I had to pick up my brother to take him to the dentist. My car will not have AC until tomorrow  and it was blazing.For the rest of the day, I drove in the heat until all my errands were completed. 

Jay, Mark and myself all decided to go to Buffalo Wild Wings. After all, it was Tuesday! 45cent wings! 

When we got there, Mark had the brilliant idea of parking in the spot that has a sign that says "hey, if you park your car here we will tow that shit so fast, we will cause a rupture in reality! So bitches, Don't fucking park here!" Mark concluded that since it wasn't directly in front of the car, it was only talking about the spaces to the left of the sign....I know, right? He gambled.

After getting our food late and being told that Jay had to leave because he is under 21 and its almost 10:00, the time in which Buffalo Wild Wings becomes an even louder, doucheyer place, we decided to leave....Guess who's Car got towed? 

Videos below

It doesn't end there. Mark gets a glimpse of the Taco Bell Manager who got his car towed. Here is Mark's description:

And The Fun Luggage was packed.

"Dreams shattered like broken glass, when you try to make plans God is known to laugh"

The title of the blog comes from a song by Talib Kweli called Broken Glass.  When I first heard the song I was around 14 or 15 years old. Initially, I loved the line because it just sounded cool. The way Kweli dropped his lines on that song made those long bus rides out to Carter High School a little less painful. However, like many other songs, the line hit me waaaay after I bought the album "Beautiful Struggle." The way I listen to music is Sound First. Then, the words slowly sneak into existence. At the core, when it comes to hip-hop, lyrics are what keep me listening. But for some reason, my mind does not notice them until my ear kinda accepts the music alone.
The line first hit me when I was talking to a friend about the lyric. At the time I was still 15 and was pretty Christian. My mind focused on the God part of the phrase. I concluded that the song actually meant that all plans are determined by God. So when one decides to do something, it is not set in stone until God puts his big ol' soul smitin' hand on it. However, now I hear the lyrics differently. Instead of focusing on the God part, my mind heard the entire sentence. Its not so much about God as much as it is fate. To many "fate" and "God" are the same. But if you are not religious, the line kind of seems to convey a similar message but one that is not so religious as much as it is common sense. Now the line means although a person may plan for their fate/future, it is not really known. Therefore, the plan may not be so helpful.

Today is the perfect example of what Kweli was talking about. I woke up this morning knowing only two things would be accomplished today: Japanese Studies and song writing. Its so simple when you make those hard things two sets of two words. It makes everything easier. Try it. "Today, I am gonna do just two things: Get money and buy a car." Seems easy, right? Well, fate/God/Zeus, thought otherwise. I get a call from my brother asking me to pick him up from Nashville and drive him back to Knoxville. Boom! I refuse to leave my brother in that kind of situation. So, I went and picked him up. 7 hours of my day have completely vanished. Instead, I had a really good 3 hour convo with my younger brother. Wouldn't trade that one for a few hours of study time.

It happens all the time. I make small plans and something gets in the way. So, I figured out a way to remedy this kinda of problem. Instead of making specific plans, I should make a bunch of things I should do. That way, if something does come along when I need to study Japanese, or write a song, I can always view the list of things I should do as back up plans. So, if I don't have anything to do, I should start writing songs for that album I'm working on. When I am just watching my friends play Yugioh, I can always just write Kanji. Setting up time to do things never seems to work for me. So now, I think I will just "use time wisely."

Oh shit...That whole paragraph was a big, fat plan.



Villainy...but...not plotted.

Shit talking: My ultimate flaw and favorite characteristic

 Talking trash is really hard to avoid for me. When someone is playing me in a game of chess, it becomes a game of WWE--without the muscles and spandex. I don't know what started it, but talking trash during any competition becomes more appealing to me than the game itself. In fact, I realized that I cannot even play a game if I can't make myself excited about it to the level that I want to talk trash. An even stranger thing that occurs when I am talking trash is that sometimes I perform better. And even when I fail, at least I looked pretty falling. It is through trash talking that I am able to show my wit. So when I lose, I am at least the most entertaining in the room. Petty? Of course! But it doesn't stop there. Sometimes I find new ways to talk trash. If I make a sandwich, its the best damn sandwich out there and I think its better than yours, his, hers, and theirs.

Today was of no exception. I went to Barley's, a pizza joint in downtown Knoxville, and played pool with some friends. Pool is not really trash talking sport, but it can be. So, I did it. But here's the kicker: I did it before I was even playing. That's right folks, I wasn't even playing the damn game and still interrupted someone else's game (don't worry, they were my friends).  

Don't believe me?

However, there was a dangerous side to this as well. I talked so much shit, I made a bet. If I lost the first game (which I was losing at the time I made the bet) I would have to record a song about how awesome Andrew is. But I won so he has to make a 12 page comic about how awesome I was. 

Sweet deal, right? Well, that was all cool until I made the same deal with his sister ( the chick in the video) and lost... now I gotta make a 3 minute song about her... Why? Because  I got too crunk and then I made a bet I should not have made...Oh well.

The story is not over!

Then, when I was done talking shit to human beings. I began talking shit to Frogger! 

Shit Talking Villainy

...and then I went to the Malibu...Again.

Oh God. It happened again. Every time I go, I tell myself "Fuck that place. I'll never return." Then one year later, I open my eyes and I am there again. Who did it? How did I get there? It's a mystery. But I do know this time was a little different from other times. But I think I should start with describing the other times first. Other times I had gone to the Malibu, or as some call it, "the Bu," I usually go expecting it to be kinda "meh." In fact, a lot of people groan about going. Why? Well, for one, the music. Its like the Malibu has 4 the most southern, dirtiest, gangsta mixed CD's and plays them from least gangsta, to most. And it is strictly southern hiphop. Once, the DJ made the mistake of trying to sneak in a Jay-z song (he's from New York for those who don't ever leave from under their rocks). The moment Alica Keys opened her wonderful mouth, followed by Jay-z's nonsouthern dialect, half the place just started hollering "booooo"or "Man that nigga worships tha devil." (okay, I might not have heard that last one, but it sounds like something people would say...if you know what I mean.)

"Say Hova! C'mon say it.....please"

Also, there is a group of alumni from my old high school that go almost every weekend. However, there are more alumni that come from various high schools all over the city. Ranging from the classes 1812-2011. If all of your beard is turning white, please don't go to the Malibu. Go to a Jazz club or a checkers club (haha). But whatever, old people's money is as green as mine.

In addition, there is something slightly insecure about the music that is played. Most of the songs are big ol' dedications to your various haters that may or may not exist. When the DJ plays these songs he usually tells everyone to put their middle fingers up to all the your haters in the room. Middle fingers go up. But to the ceiling. Who is up there? No one. Just like the haters. They aren't there. And when they are there, they are too busy flipping off their haters.

But this time it was different because all of this felt new to me. I had been away from this kind of club for a long time. Instead, I had been going to fun clubs. So seeing all this again was new, which answers the question posed earlier in this post. Why the hell did you come back? Because every time I find myself there, it has been a long time since I had last been. I am telling you, some places are like black holes for fun luggage: Funerals, a War's battlefield, and The Malibu. 

But one year from now....Hell naw. I'm done.

Bad Fathers in Anime

I was watching a lot more anime recently, which is ironic because I didn't watch a lick of it while I was in Japan. I guess its the nostalgia. Whenever I watched Anime, I'm was all like "That looks like that one place in Kyoto" or "She dresses like a that one girl," compared to when I watched it before visiting Japan. When I was Otakuing it up this past week, I realized something about the anime I watched: there sure was some terrible fathers in these shows. For every determined young woman or man with some kind of important goal to accomplish, there was a insensitive, misguided, unloving father. Freud would have a field day.

So who are the bad ones? Who is the worst?

Let's start!

Yeah, go ahead and get angry! Minato Namikaze, Naruto's dad, did a lot of good things for a lot of people. The series is in love with this character. But remember the title: Bad father's in Anime. You put a freakin' demon inside your son. Yeah, sure, Minato had a reason. He said that he had faith that his son could handle a giant fire breathing, country destroying fox inside him. A fox that could break free from Naruto's body prison whenever Naruto, a hot head, became uncontrollably angry. So getting bad grades, fighting with rivals, stubbing a toe, breaking a bone, losing a loved one and other things that would piss someone off(and things that happen to Naruto all the time) were not considered in his decision making process. Bad judgment! I the real life equivalent of this kind of action would be me surgically installing a bomb inside the chest of my son and telling him not to blink  more than 7 times a minute. So just don't dust anything or exist in a dry summer's day. YOU SUCK.

Charles Zi Britannia: Lelouch's father from the series Code Geass.

When he isn't taking over the world, encouraging class prejudice and expanding military, he likes to be a bad father.  Following the ostensible death of Lelouch's mother, he comes up with the silly idea of exiling his family to Japan and...he thinks its funny. Seriously, he laughs about it with the most smug  kind of smile. Plus he uses his "power" to kill "god." Calm down religious folks. Not your God, but his idea of God: collective unconsciousness, or individuality. Why? Because he had a bad childhood. Ironically, his son, the main character of the series, is almost just as childish. He becomes a tyrannical ruler controlling almost the entire planet. He differs from his father by doing it for the purpose of giving the world a common enemy, himself, and then had his best friend kill him in public thus (cutely) making the world come together to prevent it from happening all along. So the apple falls FAR from the tree. But he sure did grow on the same evil branches.

Tem Ray: Gundam 0079

Although Charles was bad, Tem Ray, from Gundam 0079, is a combination of bad and annoying. Amuro, his son, the main character, bitches a lot. I mean, a lot. But when you look at Amuro's father, you began to understand why he complains. After saving his Space colony from enemy Mobile Suits(giant robots) using a Gundam( a special giant robot), having never piloted one before, while being 16 years old. His dad simply says, "good job." Not literally but his attitude is kind of like "hey, try my new program for the Gundam. Then you can be better." Even when Amuro becomes aware of the fact that the cost of defending people's lives is more lives and seeks wisdom from his father he is all like"meh...try this program." When Amuro finally sees his mother for the first time since childhood, only to have her say that she is disappointed in him for becoming a soldier even though he has saved so many lives. All of that gets a "...." response. Seriously, this kid gets nothing but more programs from his father, who is proud of him but never says it to him. And no, its not one of those "I am pretending to be indifferent so you won't win my approval too soon and become lazy" kind of deals. Tem just sucks. At least Charles admits that his sons a genius before perusing him in a battle.  Tem is just an unappreciative dick.

Afro Samurai's Father

Not everyone should have kids. Especially if you live a lifestyle of people trying to kill you because of a headband you wear. Not only is that what the Father in of Afro in the series Afro Samurai, but he also brought his son to the fight to sometimes. If I had a million haters trying to jack my shit all the time, I would put that kid in some kind of "my dad lives a dangerous life because he has assassins always throwing Kunais and shit at him" home, or just not have kids. Better yet, I would just give that headband away. Any of the above would do, but none of the above was done. Fail.

Goku from DragonBall series

Most of my friends have heard me make this point. But for those who haven't heard this rant before, here it comes. There is a long list of people I would rather have as a father than this guy. Why? Well, he is rarely there for his kids. Never have I ever seen someone that can do so much but does so little as a father. There are several times throughout Dragonball were Goku could be home with his kids, but chooses not to because he loves fighting more. Common excuses made on Goku's behalf usually mention his various deaths. Fair point. Goku dies like 3 times in the series. Death does make it hard to talk to people and hard to literally visit people.  But what if Goku had the gift of talking to people from the afterlife? Well guess what? He did! King Kai was like a cell phone for Goku when he wanted to talk to his family...but he only used it to talk about fighting, or about wishing him back, to fight someone. However, there still is the factor of him not physically being present for his family...if only there was a way he could possibly teleport anywhere in the universe at anytime, even in death. OH WAIT! HE CAN DO THAT SHIT! So basically, Goku is like god. He has all that power to be anywhere at any time and can talk to anyone but seemingly never uses it. He only uses it for one obsession and that is fighting. Everyone who is a big fan of Gohan, Goku's son, often complains about the direction Gohan's character takes towards the end of the series. Gohan becomes a student. Not a fighter. But if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. If Goku wasn't such an ass monkey for fighting, maybe Gohan would learn to love it too. But it was forced on him and always picked first over Gohan. Gohan probably got tired of being thrown into battles all the time. I mean, his dad even convinced him to basically lose a year of his life in a "hyperbolic time chamber" to save the world again. When will you just take him out to see a moive?  And let's not forget the ultimate slap in the face, the last episode of the series where Goku fights some random kid in the yearly tournament (Tenkaiichi Budaki) and then flies off into the sunset with some other child. Why chose to be a father then? You were on a bad father roll! Did your internal daddy clock just strike 12 so you snatched up some other kid and basically raised and trained him. It's creepy. Hide ya kids, Hide ya wife, cause he's training everybody out here...except Gohan and Goten.

I know what you're thinking... "Where is Shinji's father from Evangelion?" He was so bad and boring I didn't feel like putting him on. That and I didn't complete the series... 

However, if you have any other suggestions leave a comment on the bottom!