You're gonna carry that weight :3 Steps to letting things go

I have a long, infinite list of flaws. It's no secret. I suck at a lot of things, but one thing I rock at is knowing that I suck at a lot of things. This is NOT me being humble; this is me being honest. One of my worst flaws is letting things go. Its just a hard thing to do. There are even times when I am so frustrated about something that I can't sleep well. For instance, it is ridiculously late/early right now, but because at this very moment I cannot let something go. So,  I figured that bloggin' it out would at least help me burn off energy about the situation. 

My problem with letting things go is that I never seem to do it right. What I mean is, when I feel that I have been wronged, its hard for me to just say "well, I just got got. Oh well." Often times I find myself looking back at issues that seemed Hulk sized and realize they are only Janet Dyne size (look it up). I see the same problem with others. Saying "I'm gonna let this shit fly" doesn't give that shit wings. You actually have to let it go.

But how do you do that? I have a few steps that many of you will find pretty obvious and unhelpful, but those who have the same problem may find useful.

Step 1: Allowing and accepting rage--within reason.

Be Mad! It's okay.

Contrary to the picture above, do not get that mad to the point you want to choke professor X. But you need to find a positive way to let out your anger/sadness. Do not deny the fact that you are upset. Anger is an emotion. You cannot really force yourself to not feel anger, but you can control your anger. So many times I find myself saying that I am letting something go and then it doesn't happen. I am too eager to let something go instead of allowing myself to be angry, and then get over it. Also, do not let your friends tell you to "get over it" and force you to not care. In all honesty, your friends, no matter how terrific they may be, don't always care, or understand where you are coming from on an issue. And in some cases, friends tend to trivialize things they think are not important. So if you are annoyed that your roommate left his food out for an entire day, just tell them. Don't just sit there mad, but let that shit out. Usually, people are not immediately angry. It usually starts because someone has to let it grow over time. So neutralize it before it gets to that level. If you don't rage properly, you will bitch about it for weeks and possibly deform a friendship. Meaning, now it is a habit of you to bitch about that friend. Then, you're Mr/Mrs. Negative. If you get this step right, you are more than half way done.

Step 2: Distance yourself from the situation

Maybe that's what took him so long

This one is tricky. It's a very situation step. And it also depends on the personality. Those that are better at letting things go, don't need distance. They simply have amazing shoulder blades, shrug their cares away and move one. Some people that claim they are fine with letting things go, but aren't: Pay attention. After a feud, distance yourself from someone you just confronted, just for a little while, and very nonchalantly, even if it means to step out and have a smoke. Like a stove, people rarely go from boiling hot to room temp in the matter of seconds. So maybe you should, or they should (depending on the agitator) should just have a nice tall glass of shutthefuckupforalittlewhile. It's a great drink. I usually find myself ordering it daily. I should stress that sometimes you need to do this very nonchalantly. Sometimes leaving promptly and obviously after a feud forces some personalities to immediately try to fix it. They might follow you to your car to further explain what they meant. Or maybe get super defensive and call everyone up to let them know that they made you angry and so they Paul Revere that shit to let the world know that you are coming. Try to distance yourself gracefully and tastefully.  The whole point of this step is to make things move smoothly for the next step. When someone has just told you that they sold your Xbox 360 for rent money, you probably should take a walk. Sitting in awkward air is bad for the lungs. 

Last step: Don't bring it back up. You're done.

YOU AGAIN?!

The important thing about distance is that you need time to get over it. When you return, you need to be over it. And if you are not, don't come back. I am so serious about this step. If you are not over this situation--and you might have damn good reason to depending on whatever happened--then you should prolong your walk down Snake Way (the second picture). And, in some rare cases, you might need to just find some new friends. But what you do NOT do is continually bring it back up. In some circles, it's totally fine digging up old bones that were once so serious as a joke. But only do that if you are beyond 100% sure it's okay. I have heard friends joke about how they messed with another friend's girlfriend and the fight they both had afterwards. It was a pretty awkward laugh. In fact, if I remember correctly, it wasn't really a laugh. It was more of a "heh ah, yeah so anyways."  Sometimes things will always be too soon. Bring bad memories back up as a way of domineering over your friends is a good way to lose them. I have witnessed that first hand. We all have. If you ever find yourself being the tyrant, dangling the past over your bestie's head, or be you the victim under once friendly but now oppressive hand then ask yourself this. Is this friendship really worth further investment? or ask yourself this, specifically if you can't let something go: how big is this bruise gonna be when I grow up, have a family and I want my friend to come see them but I can't because of some ol bullshit that happened 6 billion years ago?

Remember that last episode of Cowboy Bebop, when the main character died because he refused to let the past go?  After the long credit reel at the bottom of the screen, in some small strange font there was a message:

Alright, that did it. I'm good now. Goodnite.

Oh, and Villainy.