Safeness is the idea that someone is secure from any form of insults. Sadly, this idea represents a condition that is nonexistent. Safeness is similar to perfection. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, nobody is safe--which has become the motto surrounding the culture. Safeness can however be rated. Someone in a dance club who still thinks its cool to do the long-dead C-walk has a very low safety rating, which means it is your duty to stop this madness. In this case, I would say "The C-walk? Really? Dude is really not safe right now. I'm bout to let him know." Of course, depending on my relationship with that person, I would probably not inform him of his low safety. However, if a friend was to do it...It's time to let him/her know.
The #1 rule of being safe is that NOBODY IS SAFE. Not your mother, not your father, not your best friend. Embarrassing your friends instead of your enemies seems a bit backwards, but the code of safeness is also a way of comically addressing issues with your friend. For example, if your friend smells like he or she has an uncontrollable fear of soap, and you have plans of going to the club that night with them still exuding offensive odor, then it might be time to say, "Fam, you are not safe. It smells like you showered in camel sweat. Correct ya self with a nice, warm shower." This sounds harsh, but if you don't let you friend/family know, someone else will. I guarantee your buddies would like to know how they should improve themselves and from you, a friendly voice.
The #2 rule of safeness is keeping it funny. What I mean is, remember your goal is to have fun. There are times when I myself get this one messed up. There have been so many times I get too crunk--another phrase used in our culture--and wind up offending my closest buds. Annoying your friends is okay when you can all laugh at it. Sometimes things may piss off a bud at first but it may be something they will find funny after a time of rage. But what you don't want to do is always try to piss them off. This varies from relationships-to-relationships. If my friend does not like mama jokes, I am incline to not make them. However, if my friend claims to not like the classic mama joke, but continues to make them about other people's mama, then they are on unsafe grounds. It is then my job as a friend to remind them of two things: They are not safe and I had a passionate night with their mother on the beaches of Normandy. It's best to know who you are talking to, when you are talking to them and if you can handle the same amount of safe-criticism back. In other words, don't starting making mama jokes if you can't handle it back! With that said, it would be wise to stay off someone's dead loved one, tragic rape, etc... Unless you have an interesting bond with your friend.
Also, on the note of keeping it funny, keep in mind that you should actually be comical as well as careful. In other words, entertain. If you DARE make some kind of joke about your friends fashion of the day, and you fail at being clever, you are now TWICE as unsafe as your prey, which means its "open Season" on your sorry ass. Get 'em!
Now, No Safe November.
I am sure we all now what No Shave November is. If not, I will summarize. It is a game that people play in the month of November prevents all players from shaving until the end of November. By the end of November, dudes be lookin' like the members of Fleet Foxes....google 'em.
Since high school has ended, I have gotten soft. Unless I am in Knoxville, I don't often bring up safeness, or the lack therof, as much as I should. It is my duty to society to let people know that they are not safe. In NoSafeNovember (usually used as a hashtag: #NoSafeNovember.), we (me, you and the world) spend a month finally letting people know that they are not safe. All those irky things that you have been putting up with for the past ten months from co-workers, family members, best friends, and fellow students can now be cleverly mentioned in a way the lets you both laugh and learn.
However, keep in mind, the two rules of celebrating NoSafeNovember:
#1 Keep it funny
#2 and you are not safe either (can't stress that enough. Don't think that you are for a moment. ACCEPT IT.)
Remember: The safest thing you can do this November is admit that you are not safe. It invites comfort and fun. The moment you believe you a free of flaw and are just chillin' in safe-zone, you get GOT!
I KNOW I am not safe. Proofread this post, I bet I messed up plenty.
NoSafeNovember Victim #1
Pure Villainy.
