Stop Snitching...no matter how cute it is.

One of the worst things you could tell me when I Was a kid was "stop tattle telling." Why? Because when I was a kid and demanded justice for being wronged by someone else, it made me crazy. Now that I'm grown and deal with children all the time, it makes me crazy when 20+ kids all had an act of injustice and demand me to right the wrongs. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, what they have to say is far more important. Hell, I could be in the middle of performing a billion dollar six-hour surgery on someone really fucking important and they would barge in and shout "ooooh! Mr. Timothy! Carson punched me!" But guess what? Carson didn't punch you, did he? He touched your shoulder to taunt you and you want him to be in trouble so you exaggerate. Hyperbole senses are always tingling at the place. Never believe anything anyone says ever about anything because it never really happened or only "kinda" did but not really. But, man, is it cute.

Prime example:

"Oooooh! Mr. Timothy! Greg said 'Pysies'"

"...Okay, what does that mean?"

"I don't know, but he said it!"


That kind of snitching happens more than 10 times a day. Like, hold the fuck up! That kid is doing something I've never seen before. I'm telling Timothy right now at max volume while tugging his shirt, jeans and maybe poking his ass to get this man's attention. Naw, naw, naw! This here is important Mr. Timothy. If you don't fix this shit right now or I might be confused for like a whole minute.

Oh, and let a kid say the word "booty." I swear to good they will stampede like the first snitch gets a prize from Mr. Timothy. The worst part about it is that they all wanna snitch first and say it and the same time. What sucks is that some kids run and talk faster than others and at various volumes. So what sounds like "Hey, Mr. Timothy, he said 'booty' to me" to them, sounds like

" ooooh BOOTY! Mr. Timothy......Bootty. booooooooooooootyy HE SAid....Booty Boottyyyyyy Mr. Timothy
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooBootttttttttttyyyyMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmr. Tiiiiiiiiimothboootyy oooooooooooooooooooooAnd then he said boooty. ....Mr. Timothy

Mr. Timothy...Booty!                He said...... Ooooohhh Mr. Booty!! He said booty Mr. Timothy
                                        BOOTY ooooH! MR. BOOTY SAID 'TIMOTHY"


Oh my God. Do you know how scary that shit can be? You turn around, 7 kids are shouting booty and running towards yours! Then, when you finally get a full understanding of what's going on, you go "Guys, really? Is it that big o' deal?" But it is. It is a big deal because they're kids and you're an adult. Your biggest deal is car troubles, phone bills, unemployment, etc. Their big deals are Pokemon cards, How to draw Sonic the Hedgehog the right way and bad words. Finally, I broke

"Hey! New Rules: No more tattle telling! No more Snitching!"

Its official. I'm grown.

Villainy.