Gay

Being gay just ain't what it used to be. I remember back in a time where being gay meant you were sexin' dudes. But one thing I have learned about life is that everything changes.

Don't get me wrong, I have kept up with the changes. I remember in 4th grade I wore a pink shirt to school and for that entire day I was called gay. So I thought, "note to self...pink means dude sexin.'"  However, that changed just a week later when I brought my holographic Charizard Pokemon card to school. The same group of boys came up to inform me of my homosexual ways: "Man, that's gay. You're gay." So I added on to my mental notes: "Okay. Charizard is gay too. Noted." A year later, I was discussing why Goku was gonna whoop Frieza's ass in the next episode of Dragonball Z with a friend. A familiar group of cliches people approached me reminding me that I was still gay. By that time it was too late. I stopped caring because I finally knew what gay meant. At least I thought I did. 

Then, middle school came and I was informed by a currently established homosexual that I was gay because I did not care about being gay and that I didn't play basketball. Thus, I readjusted my mental notes again: "Start playing with balls and then I am no longer gay." By 7th grade, I finally got it. Being gay was no longer something difficult to define and I learned that two things: Gay is when some is romantically interested in males and I am not part of that community. 

By college, of course it was all mapped out. Sexual categories are just not simple. Obviously if a man and another man are in a relationship (or woman and another woman, and in some cases, a man and a woman who have complicated situation), they are most likely gay/lesbian/bisexual. However, my mind was blown yet again. A person can potentially be a heterosexual woman but fall in love with another woman. Just one woman. She could not be attracted to only one woman her whole life. Does that make her gay? So, I noted once more: "Labels complicate simple things."

However, today, October 20,  2011, I am afraid I am back to square one, once again. Today, it was raining and it was the worst kind of rain: it was cold and horizontal. So, I snatched my umbrella. When I got to the cafeteria, I met with a friend. Once we finished, we walked outside into the rain, where, again, I used my umbrella. She looked at me and snickered, " You are the ONLY boy I know that has an umbrella!"

"really?" I said. 

"Yes, really."

"ah...you're point?"

"You know what they say about boys with umbrellas"

"..they don't like to get wet?"

"Nope," she blurted, "They're gay!!!"

I quit the human race.

Villainy. Non-biased, LGBT supportin' Villainy.